What is adult child syndrome?

Asked by: Montana Herman  |  Last update: October 13, 2025
Score: 4.3/5 (33 votes)

Adult child syndrome is characterized by an inability to navigate adult decisions and relationships due to the long-term impact of childhood trauma. The term “adult child” was first used by in this context by the organization Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).

Is adult child syndrome real?

The term Adult Child Syndrome was first introduced in 1983 by Dr. Janet Woititz in her book “Adult Children of Alcoholics.” Since that time, it has been recognized that not only children of alcoholics may experience this syndrome, but children exposed to any family dysfunction.

What does it mean to be an adult child?

ACA defines an Adult Child as “someone whose actions and decisions as an adult are guided by childhood experiences grounded in self-doubt or fear.” Pg.

When your adult child won't talk to you?

When adult children aren't speaking to each other, it's important to encourage open communication and understanding. As a parent, listen to each child's perspective without taking sides. Offer support and encourage them to resolve their differences peacefully. Suggest family counseling or mediation if needed.

How to heal a relationship with an adult child?

Five Ways Parents Can Improve Relationships with Adult Children
  1. Communicate About Communication. ...
  2. Re-Evaluate Your Role. ...
  3. Don't Be Disrespectful. ...
  4. Understand Your Reactions – And Theirs. ...
  5. Narrative Therapy to Improve Relationships with Adult Children.

What's an Adult Child? My Personal Experience Recognizing and Healing from Adult Child Syndrome

24 related questions found

Do estranged adult children ever reconcile?

Some estranged adult children attempt to regularly reconcile with their parents, which may form a cycle of estrangement. Others may cut off contact for years or decades. And still others may be estranged for a while and eventually repair the relationship.

What is a toxic relationship with adult child?

Your relationship with your adult child may be toxic if they constantly insult or manipulate you, disrespect your boundaries, or blame you for everything. Setting strong boundaries or seeking therapy may help you handle your relationship with your child.

What to do when adult children ignore you?

How to deal with ignoring and estrangement
  1. telling the child they love them.
  2. offering to talk about what they can do to fix things.
  3. taking responsibility for past actions.
  4. emphasizing that, if they still choose not to respond, the caregiver will respect their decision.

What to do when your child shuts you out?

Five Tips When Estranged and Cut Off From Your Child
  1. Get Support. Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. ...
  2. Don't Cut off in Response. ...
  3. Don't Feed the Anger. ...
  4. Listen to Your Child Without Defending Yourself. ...
  5. Focus on Yourself, Not Your Child.

When should you stop reaching out to an estranged child?

Here some good reasons when you should stop:
  1. You are being threatened with restraining orders.
  2. Your adult child says that they need time apart but will be back in contact.
  3. Whenever you do reach out, they're consistently hostile and threatening.

When should you walk away from an adult child with mental illness?

As much as you might love or care for the individual, if they are emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive, it is okay to step away from the situation. Some examples of emotional, mental, and physical abuse include: Emotional & Mental Abuse: Being dissatisfied, no matter how hard you try or how much you give.

What is a parentified daughter?

Parentification occurs when parents look to their children for emotional and/or practical support, rather than providing it. Hence, the child becomes the caregiver. As a result, parentified children are forced to assume adult responsibilities and behaviors before they are ready to do so.

What are the mental health issues of adult children?

Common Signs and Symptoms

Social Withdrawal: Adult children may withdraw from social activities or relationships they once enjoyed, preferring solitude. Difficulty Concentrating: Mental illness can impair cognitive functioning, leading to difficulties with focus, memory, and decision-making.

What is Peter Pan syndrome?

Peter Pan Syndrome is a pop psychology term used to describe an adult who is socially immature. It refers to “never-growing” adults who have reached an adult age, but cannot face their adult sensations and responsibilities. The term is a metaphor based on the concept of not growing up and being trapped in childhood.

What mental illness causes adults to act like a child?

What is Peter Pan disorder? While it is not an officially recognized mental health disorder, Peter Pan Syndrome is used to describe adults who hold on to childlike behaviors and having difficulty taking on responsibility and accountability.

How rare is adult syndrome?

About Adult syndrome

Population Estimate:Fewer than 1,000 people in the U.S. have thisdisease.

How do you fix a damaged relationship with an adult child?

Fixing a Broken Relationship with Your Adult Child
  1. Remember you are dealing with an adult. While you may feel that just yesterday they were children, they are mature adults and should be treated with the respect they deserve. ...
  2. Acknowledge your contribution. ...
  3. Approach the situation with love. ...
  4. Be fair. ...
  5. Get support.

Why does a child reject a parent?

There are many reasons why a child may reject a parent and resist spending time with them or refuse to. This rejection can be a natural consequence of experiences such as parental conflict before or after separation, family violence, personality factors, or poor parenting.

What to say to someone who is shutting you out?

What to say to someone when they are shutting you out
  • “I understand you're feeling…”
  • “I've given you a lot to consider. I'll give you time to digest.”
  • “Let's take a breather and come back to this another time.”
  • “I'm sorry I said…” or “I'm sorry I didn't…”
  • “I'm not upset with you. ...
  • “When you ignore me I feel…”

How do you deal with an adult child who disrespects you?

Set Clear Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial when dealing with disrespectful adult children. Start by clearly defining what behaviors are okay and what aren't. Then, make sure to explain these boundaries to your adult child so they understand why they're important.

What percentage of parents are estranged from their adult children?

Prevalence of parent and adult-child estrangement

The study found that 6% of respondents reported an estrangement from their mother, while 26% reported an estrangement from their father. The average age at estrangement was 26 for an estrangement with a mother and 23 for an estrangement with a father.

What to do when your son cuts you out of his life?

If you are estranged from an adult child or if you are experiencing estrangement yourself, here's how to begin the healing process:
  1. Seek support. Healing from the psychological challenge of estrangement involves dealing with feelings of profound vulnerability. ...
  2. Seek connection. ...
  3. Seek forgiveness.

What does the Bible say about adult children?

On the other hand, adult children are no longer under parental authority and thus are ultimately responsible to God for the choices they make (John 9:23).

How do you tell if you have a toxic daughter?

Toxic Daughter Traits
  1. She always criticizes you. A toxic daughter may say mean things to her parents to make them feel ashamed or humiliated. ...
  2. She doesn't respect your boundaries. ...
  3. She yells at you. ...
  4. She plays the victim. ...
  5. She lacks empathy. ...
  6. She's passive-aggressive. ...
  7. She's manipulative. ...
  8. She lies to get her way.

What to do when your adult child resents you?

Your adult child resents the way you parented them. Here's how to handle it.
  1. Step 1: Listen without interjecting. ...
  2. Step 2: Don't correct your kid's story. ...
  3. Step 3: Be compassionate if your kid is reactive — they're literally channeling their inner child. ...
  4. Step 4: Apologize in a way that is validating.